Category: Open Letters

An Open Letter To Thomas Davis: No Matter What Lies Ahead We’ll Always Love You.

Dear Thomas Davis,

When I first read the news that after 14 seasons you would not return to us I felt hurt, angry, and confused. To be honest the first thought that popped into my head was the unceremoniously infamous way we parted ways with Steve Smith. I wanted to fly to Charlotte, march into the front office and demand they reinstate you before security was called and I would no doubt be removed kicking and screaming. Several days removed I was able to understand why they did this, and while intellectually I understand it’s a business and we need to give Shaq Thompson his time to prove himself as more then a backup, I want you know you’ll always be a Panther to me.

You always played at a high level, and I understand why you’re not ready to hang up your cleats. You’re a go-getter to the highest extent and I know whatever team inherits your talent will gain someone truly special: a leader, a dedicated teammate and friend, someone they can be proud of on and off the field. Please know, however, we’re only letting that team BORROW YOU because you will ALWAYS be a Panther to both the Queen City and ALL of us fans.

It doesn’t matter if you spend two or three years as a Lion, a Bengal, a Bear or a Falcon. If you find your next opportunity as a Buccaneer or-please dear God don’t ever go to the Saints. You will always be a Carolina Panther and the epitome of “Keep Pounding”.

I can talk about your stats, which are impressive and speak volumes for themselves but I’d rather talk about you as a person who I was proud represented my team OFF the field as well.

You came back, not once, but THREE times from potentially career ending injuries. You’ve done so much for the community that you’ve earned yourself the Walter Payton Man Of The Year award and you’ve been the leader to a team who often looked to you in terms of how to grow both on and off the field. You’ve inspired us fans to never give up, and have supported us through our victories and disappointing shortcomings. You and your family will always be a part of the blueprint and glue that holds Carolina together. We love you and we know you love us too no matter where your career may end, I hope all roads lead back to Carolina for a 1 day contract where you end your professional career in Charlotte.

Please know, Thomas, you’re a Panthers legend in you’re own right and no matter what lies ahead we will always love you and wish you the best of everything! Keep Pounding!

Love you. Mean it.



Happy (Almost) Birthday Elsie Marie!

Dear Elsie,

November 14th 2009 started off like any other day, it was a Saturday and I was sleeping until well after 11 AM. I don’t remember what I ate for breakfast or even lunch, I remember going for a long walk with my cousin and just waiting for Uncle Tom to text me and tell me you’d arrived.

I don’t remember much of the trivial things which occurred that day, I know Uncle Tom had steak with your Pop that night and I know my Mommy (Mrs. H) made macaroni and meat sauce which I ate so fast I felt like I had a rock in my stomach afterwards. I do remember your Dad responding “beggars can’t be choosers” when I asked for updates on your big entrance into this world. These are snapshots of an ordinary day that would become extraordinary.

What I do remember is the first time I saw you, held you in my arms and watched you fall asleep on Uncle Tom’s chest. I remember from that moment on you had us wrapped around your little chubby fingers. I remember you taking your first steps, and before I knew it you were taking Uncle Tom’s wallet and running around the whole downstairs with it. I remember you saying your first words before talking in sentences about how much you LOVED trains. I remember you picking up your first crayon, how your scribbles made way to some truly creative and imaginative pictures you drew of everyone and everything.

I remember Uncle Tom and I taking you for dinner and ice cream, to parks and dance classes. I remember watching you dance in your very first recital and feeling so proud of you.

When did our adorable little baby niece become such a beautiful, smart and creative young lady? I’m not quite sure why time moves so quickly but I do know our lives have been changed for good because you are a part of it. You are a wonderful sister, niece, friend, and student. You brighten the lives of everybody who knows you. Your sense of humor and laughter is infectious, (except for Aunt Britt and Uncle Tom’s friend you call old man Jenkins).

Your selflessness and always helping a friend in need always makes our hearts swell with pride. I hope in life: our beautiful, brilliant niece that you never settle for anything less than you deserve. I hope you always stay humble and kind. Mostly, I hope you know just how much we all love, support and will stand by you no matter what life throws at you. I hope you know you’re never ever alone.

November 14, 2009 started off like any ordinary day but it ended in an extraordinary way because it gave us YOU. In the nine years since you arrived Elsie Marie, you taught Uncle Tom and I how to be a great Aunt and Uncle. You inspired us to be the best versions of ourselves in order to set a good example for you to follow. All the while, you have brought so much love, happiness, and laughter to our lives.

We hope you know how much we love you with all our hearts, our precious little Diva. May God bless you, keep you safe and may all your dreams come true now and for always.

Love you. Mean it. Always.

Aunt Britt and Uncle Tom


My Life ISN’T One Large Date Night: An Open Letter to Julia Pelly of Scary Mommy

Dear Julia Pelly,

Hey there! I know you don’t think it’s possible that I’m just as busy as you are, but please allow me to introduce myself, my name is Brittany. I am a full-time working, wife and dog Mom who happens to have a blog on the side. Most days, I’m so exhausted after work that I barely have time to write but I’m committed and so even if I post late, I always post. After one such exhausting day, while surfing Facebook mindlessly I stumbled upon your article When You Don’t Have Kids, Every Night is Date Night. While I am not a parent myself, I decided the title was catch worthy enough to give it a shot. The beginning of the article made me chuckle as you addressed your audience as your “childless friends”.

Just a strong FYI while my husband and I are childfree by choice, we have two nieces and a nephew that we absolutely adore and would do anything for. Parenthood and opting out of it is a polarizing topic for most people. I have a wide variety of friends who are single, married, engaged, parents and non-parents. This diversity allows me to have an open mind in most situations. God gave us two ears to listen and one mouth to speak right? So therefore I always to listen to all sides of an argument, even if I’m not inclined to agree. I am rather intrigued to understand how others might relate to this. I’ve read articles plenty of articles addressing the childfree from the prospective of a parent, and while most have a condescending undertone I do my very best to understand. I think I succeed in understanding a good 96% percent of the time because let’s face it none of us are perfect and there’s always a margin of error to take into consideration.

My mindset for this article was no different. After reading though, I did feel the need to address this claim that ‘every night is date night for you’ regarding the childless and childfree.

Julia, the thing you might not realize, is that it’s kind of a bold assumption to claim the thing you didn’t realize before you had your son, “is that when you don’t have kids, your whole life is a date night.”

Are you really prepared to back this statement up against every childfree couple (with different job and financial situations) in America? If you are, allow me to let you in on a little secret your childless friends are probably too busy biting their tongues to say to you. This is NOT the case at all…

My husband and I both work full-time, spending five days a week, eight hours a day, at our jobs. My husband’s schedule is 3:30-11:30 with at least three days a week spent from 8:15-1:15 at his second job. My schedule is 9-5 four days a week and 9-1 on Fridays. I see my husband for 15 minutes a night for dinner four days a week. Once a week on Saturdays, we also attend a religious service together. That does not include our involvement within the church community outside of weekly mass. Most of my weeknights, are spent alone writing content for my own blog and caring for my fur baby Draco. This is all, of course, in addition to commuting through traffic, cooking dinner, and doing the necessary cleaning up that comes with it all the while my husband is at work. Sounds like a great date night, huh?

Saturday’s are spent immersed in the church community and Sundays are spent with family (either mine or my husband’s). See, since we don’t have kids, we do not get the luxury of NOT racing around between our families on holidays and weekends.

Most nights (usually early Saturday AM like 12-1 AM) I force myself to stay awake so we could plop down on the couch and watch an episode or two of This Is Us and Total Divas. Most of the time, we’re catching up on the highs and lows of each other’s week during commercial breaks. Do you understand why I’m hesitant to call these “date nights”?

You claim all that’s required to call something a date is that you’re spending one-on-one time with the one you love.

I agree with statement, to an extent. A date doesn’t need to be elaborate in order to be considered a date. But again, consider sitting down with your husband after a long week of work and busy weekend days to mindlessly watch reality tv. It’s something small that we don’t have a luxury to do together like most couples do during the week. Let me beat the dead horse as I reiterate: I am alone for five out of seven days a week. The time I am granted with my husband’s presence does not constitute as a date of any kind. Even on nights during the week where I am lucky to have my husband home with me watching a television program, I can’t call something a date that we’d both probably be doing separately if not for the convenience that we both happened to be home that night. Once again that’s not a date!

You claim that going out for pizza because you’re too tired to cook and grabbing frozen yogurt on the way home from dinner with friends is a date night and well I tend to disagree. While I will admit one of the perks of being childfree is freedom, childfree couples, like my husband and I, actually are not so free that our entire lives are one giant date night. That’s a joke and not even even a funny one.

While I can’t honestly speak for every childfree person and couple out there, MOST of us wake up early for work, have pets we wouldn’t dream of leaving alone overnight, and have a host of other commitments that prevent us from driving and vacationing where ever we want just because we don’t have kids. We have student loans from college, and some of us who’d like to complete projects in our homes even work two or more jobs to make enough money to afford things like a renovated kitchen. Yes, we can afford things like eating out, the newest Apple gadgets, and vacations once a year without worrying about a child’s school or sports schedule but that doesn’t mean we don’t save our pennies. That doesn’t mean we don’t have just as many responsibilities to ourselves, our families, friends and religious communities.

Brittany from the Rinky-Dink Life sums this up perfectly when she states: “You no doubt converse with your coworkers on a daily basis, but you wouldn’t consider these conversations on par with a work conference, even though you’re essentially being paid the same amount for both. I look at shoveling pizza into my mouth while laughing at Larry David in the same sense. It’s just not a date.”

I believe in date nights, I believe spending meaningful one-on-one time with your spouse is key in any relationship if you want it to last forever. These dates don’t have to be over the top, they can be simple and executed on a whim. It is my opinion, though, that even spontaneous dates should be intentional, deliberate and meaningful. That said, it should consist of your focus being set on one another. Not with your phones out texting the sitter the whole time making sure your kid ate all their Mac and cheese. Before you were Mom and Dad, you were Husband and Wife and it’s important to remember that even amidst the throes of parenthood.

Can I give you a tip Julia? Maybe, instead of looking at how rested and happy your childless friends are you can look at your relationship and see what it is you and your spouse need to be that happy. Maybe as parents you and your husband need to make date night a weekly priority instead of something that takes weeks, months and days to plan here and there.

Spending time in the same general area doesn’t count as a date. Tom and I go to our tax appointment together. We also go grocery shopping together and schedule our annual eye exam for the same date and time. I think you’d agree that it would be quite a stretch to call it a date.

While you made a very valid point that having kids is hard, how tired it makes you and mostly how you just don’t have the same freedom you did pre-baby, here the kicker to that one: you chose to bring that child into the world not anyone else but you and your spouse and unfortunately it comes with the territory.

You also acknowledge how tiring it is to raise kids and how tired the childfree are of hearing about it. But here’s the thing: we’re not just tired from hearing about it. We’re tired in general. Once again, Brittany from the Rinky Dink Life puts it perfectly when she says: “Everyone everywhere is tired. I have yet to meet a well-rested human being ever, and it really didn’t matter if they married or not, working full-time or not, raising a family or very much not; To be tired is to be human.” I can wholeheartedly get on board with this statement to be tired is to be human. We’re all busy and tired, with or without kids.

To say my life is one large, spontaneous date night is not only wrong but assuming. To say I can’t know what it means to be tired until I’m a Mother is laughable. Maybe you wrote your article out of jealousy for the lives your childfree friends lead or maybe because part of you wishes for a day or two back in the “good ol’ days” which consisted of just you and your husband. To be honest, Julia, if your husband doesn’t work two jobs, including evenings and you have him to talk to each night after you put your kids to bed then you’re actually afforded a luxury I do not have during the week. The luxury of having your husband home with you.

Therefore I close this open letter to you, as I sit here alone on a Friday night eating Low Carb vanilla ice cream, to remind you that regardless of the motivation behind this article, watching television at night with your husband is not a date night. My entire life is NOT a date night, but my free moments (when I have them) are precious to me and I DO go on weekly dates with my husband (usually on Saturday nights we’re not too tired after church), kids don’t fit into the equation that is my life and I’m perfectly alright with that. Call my life whatever you wish from the outside looking in but please don’t call it one large date night.

Love you. Mean it.




Read Julia’s article here:

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An Open Letter to Phil Murphy…

From a middle-class independent NJ resident…

Dear Governor Elect Phil Murphy,

I don’t expect you to know who I am for I am many things: I am a wife, a daughter, a sister, an Aunt of three beautiful children ages 8, 4 , and 5 months, and a friend. All you really need to know is I am a lifelong resident of New Jersey for 28 1/2 years. My entire life has been lived no more than 15 minutes from the beach, I know people who are still reeling personally from Sandy and while I hope, sincerely, you will do right by my family and friends in this state I am cynical at best. You see, I did not vote for you on November 7th 2017, in fact I voted against you and here’s why:

While it’s been said you aren’t planning another tax hike, I’ll believe it when I see it. I’ve read a lot about you, Phil, can I call you Phil? You propose to pay for your initiatives through a $1.3 billion tax hike on rich residents, corporations and potential legal marijuana users. But then you amended this statement by saying you aren’t looking for further tax increases should that money not cover all of your goals. Listen, I’ve watched so many people I grew up with and family members actually LEAVE this state because NJ has some of the highest taxes in the country. I don’t want to hear anything about you raising taxes-I want to hear what you’ll do to lower them. Give families incentives to STAY here and try NOT to rob us blind any chance you get.

As a pre-school teacher and college graduate such views as universal pre-kindergarten and free community college  sound good on paper but what would that do for jobs within those industries? Free means the money to fund such places would have to come from somewhere namely my taxes which I think are highly unrealistic. Affordable? Yes. Free? Only in a perfect world. Call me a ‘Debbie Downer’ but I don’t see THAT much economic growth occurring in the next four years, I’m a realist.

While there are many policies I can agree with such as removing high risk tests and growing NJ’s rapidly advancing (11th in the nation) technological jobs- I think the biggest issue I have is making NJ a sanctuary state. I strongly believe your idea to make New Jersey a sanctuary state is nothing shy of disgraceful. You might not LIKE Donald Trump but he IS our president and to have an entire state refuse to cooperate with the federal government over illegal immigration issues is not only unethical but unconstitutional. Your progressive idealism and blatant disregard for our safeties in these NJ cities you wish to offer up as “sanctuaries” isn’t any cooler now than it was 16 years ago in the wake of 9/11. This is not to say I am against honest, hardworking immigrants.

I am all for immigration done right, the way my ancestors did it, legally. I am concerned also of your ethics, when asked about illegal immigrant Jose Carranza who shot three victims execution style you didn’t answer right away but later said you’d “have the backs” of people like this. That’s so NOT okay. I’m also not okay with you refusing to answer the 2% cap question or how you’re refusing to lay out a plan of HOW you’ll pay for this lucrative progressive agenda other than saying you’ll grow the economy, well, again HOW?

All I know is that in the severely democratic state such as New Jersey, after the lowest approval rate of 13% from Governor Chris Christie the democrats could have put a Sienese Cat up for election and feline would have won. However, unlike the current generation who can not grasp the concept of their candidate NOT being elected, I’m willing to give you a try and if I don’t like you, you’ll know at the polls where I’ll be in the percentage of votes that went to your opponent.



Hello fan friends! I know I posted this kind of late, I came down with a heavy duty sinus infection Friday and Saturday and am finally on the mends, I hope you had a wonderful weekend!

Love you. Mean it.



An Open Letter To My Nieces and Nephew 

To my Dearest Elsie, Ben and Olivia, img_1497
Life does not come with an instruction manual, there will be ups and downs, times when you’re right and times when you’re wrong. In times when you are right, Uncle Tom and I hope and pray you stand your ground and hold fast in your morals and standards. Don’t ever compromise your self worth for the sake of a soul who doesn’t love and cherish you. In times where you are wrong, we hope you find courage in your heart and compassion in your soul to say, “I’m sorry” and mean it. Words have power and once they are said there effects can never be erased so reflect before speaking and forgive yourself for being human. Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

Life is a roller coaster, of ups and downs and highs and lows. There will be days you look at the world and wonder “why am I here? What am I doing? Where should I go?” There will be days you feel a strong sense of ambition, purpose and direction. There will be days you look at the world in awe feeling blessed to be alive.

As your Aunt and Uncle, we want more sunshine for you three then rain but we also know God has a plan for each of you; for every rainstorm he’ll send there will be a rainbow to follow. If we do not suffer we cannot appreciate the good without the bad.

We hope you never lose that sense of wonder, that you work hard and build your dreams even if it takes forever, and that you never give up or give in but stay resilient. We hope you love others more then you criticize. That you live life in abundance of love, laughter, honesty and compassion. Like Rascal Flats our wish for you is that this life becomes all that you want it to, your dreams stay big, your worries stay small and you never need to carry more then you can hold and while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to we hope you know somebody loves you and wants the same things too; but most of all, in the words of Tim McGraw we hope that when you get where you’re going, you don’t forget turn back around and help the next one in line and that you always stay humble and kind.

We know we cannot shield you all from disappointments, heartache and the cruelty of life’s tough lessons but we can offer you a promise.

That you three know no matter where you all go and what you do Uncle Tom, Draco and I will always be right here for you.

Love and Prayers Always,

Aunt Britt, Uncle Tom and Draco too.


An Open Letter To My Best Friend…

I love you more than you’ll ever know…

My Best Friend, Jen and I

Dear Jennifer (aka. JGo, Ethel, and Hugh)


Some people come into our lives and barely leave a trace, others leave a string of footprints etched upon our hearts, letting us know they are with us every step we take.

You, my dearest friend, have been stamping all over my heart since the day we met. 22 years ago, your 5-year-old self sat next to me on the bus ride to kindergarten and you complimented my floral print dress. It’s like the awesomeness in little you understood the vanity in little me and I immediately complimented your shoes. I mean, who wouldn’t have wanted to be best friends with someone with white pattern leather shoes? The answer was “thank you!”, and with a smile on your cherub-like face, you pushed me under your protective wing and haven’t let go of me since.

As the years passed by, our love for each other grew. You weren’t just a friend, you were the sister I never had, my soul mate and the reason my days were filled with happiness, love and laughter. Even when the sun stopped shining, we’d get out there, splash in the deepest of puddles and make light of any situation life threw our way. We’d smoke candy cigarettes on the corner of Third and Hannibal only to hear my Dad shout at us “You look like a bunch of idiots with those things hanging out your mouth!” We didn’t care, we did things our way because together we were stronger, braver and fairly invincible!

Or so we thought…

Life, sometimes it pulls the rug from under our feet. Suddenly, we find ourselves broken and unable to get back up. When I thought all hope had gone, you were always there to sweep me off of my feet, dust me down and tell me everything is going to be okay. When everyone else had left the room, you were the only one still cheering and giving me that little piece of hope to carry on.

That’s what real friends do. They are the glue that holds us together when we feel like we are falling apart. They are the anchor to keep us grounded when life has a tendency to blow us away. They are the wind beneath our wings, keeping us going when we feel like giving up.


Thank you for being a true friend. For sticking by me, for letting me sob into your shoulder, for allowing me to play that same old tiresome record you’ve heard a trillion times before. Thank you for letting me pour my heart out, for listening and for not just telling me what I want to hear. Thank you for loving me when no one else would. Thank you for staying constant in a world full of change and chaos. And thank you for just being there when I need you.


It’s hard to put it into words just how much you mean to me, because words will never be enough. I know my life wouldn’t be the same without you. We have walked so far, laughed so hard, and cried a sea of tears together. We have climbed each other’s highest peaks, and travelled through the darkest of valleys. You held my hand when moments before I walked down the aisle I was having a mini panic attack, and I held yours when you experienced your first heartbreak. You wiped my tears when my Grammy was dying, and I wiped yours when your father did die, he was like my second Dad too . You raised me up when life had beat me to the ground, and I spurred you on during moments of weakness.


With you by my side the world is a better place. The sun shines a little bit brighter, my smile grows a little bit wider, and in that moment, my problems are no more. You are the most beautiful person, inside and out. You are selfless, compassionate and wise beyond your years. I truly believe I hit friendship gold when you skipped into my life and filled my days with laughter, happy tears and enchantment.


You have not only been my rock, my anchor, my tear catching shoulder to cry upon, but you have also taught me many things in life.

You taught me that friends never judge each other no matter what. When you walked in on me belting out a Mariah Carey classic – eyes closed, hands clenched and lost in the music – you didn’t judge me. You must have been laughing so hard inside, but you managed to keep a straight face and even told me I sounded great. This was a lie – I was way off-key. I knew it, you knew it, and the neighbors 5 doors down knew it!


You taught me to forgive. I have this scene playing out in my head. It was summer, and Laura invited everyone but me to her house for a pool party, and you totally lied on the phone to me that you had chores to do when you actually went. What ensued was the worst argument we ever had yet I still remember the words you said so small on the other end of the phone, “I’m sorry Britt, I’m not perfect, I’m only human”. You were right, so naturally forgiveness and a tearful bike ride to your house was in order so we could hug it out.

You weren’t afraid to give me tough love when I needed it. During my darkest days you were the light that guided my way. After my Grammy died and Tom couldn’t get me out of bed to eat I still remember you coming over, picking me out an outfit and dragging Tom and I both in tow out to a diner. You ordered my favorite food, and said “I know you’re scared of a life without your Grammy…but you can’t shut people out. You have to eat, get dressed and try to smile each day even when you don’t feel like it.” I ate and felt like a weight had been lifted at once from my shoulder. I owe that to you, my friend!


You taught me to always be truthful. Do I look good in this dress? A question that many a friend will ask, and yet, will not receive the honest answer. If my dress is a little on the see-through side, you’ll be the first to let me know. If I’m dancing away and experience a code nip-slip, you’ll be the first person to give me the wink alert. If my bronzer looks more orangutan than summer tan, you’ll say “Hey Breezy, you look like an Ompaa Loompa!” 


You taught me that it’s okay to fight. I’m not talking boxing gloves and body slamming, I’m talking fighting over Polly pockets and battling over boys. But no matter how many hissy fits we’d pitch, sulky faces we’d pull and “I’m not talking to you’s” we’d throw at each other, we’d always kiss and make-up…in a matter of hours!


Thank you for being my partner-in-crime, my therapist, my concert companion, my telepathic pal, my gossip girl, my personal life coach, my dancing partner and so much more. Thank you for all the glorious memories, wrapped up in a bow of nostalgia, so beautiful it brings a tear to my eye. Thank you for the times when we laughed so hard we cried, the times we danced like no one was watching, the times we talked until the cows came home, milked into a thousand saucers, and said ‘Heck with this, I’m going to bed!’.

And no matter how much distance is between us now, no matter how many days, weeks and months we haven’t spoken to each other, we ALWAYS pick up where we left.


My beautiful best friend, what more can I say? 50 years from now, I hope I will still be cushioned under your protective wing. I have no doubt that you will still be the person who could turn my every frown into a smile, the person who lifts me up when I am losing faith and the person who carries my tears on her shoulders. I’m pretty sure that we will still be busting out those same dance moves, watching Romy and Michelle on repeat and laughing until our catheter bags burst!

When pulling an “all-nighter” means getting up to pee, “getting lucky” means winning the bingo and the candles cost more than the cake, I promise we will still be the best of friends!

JGO, I will love you always. I mean it.


Brittany (aka. Breezy, Lucy and Nigel)