Originally I was going to write about a drink recipe of mine I was dying to share with you but life had other plans. The store that typically carries it was out and I found myself scrambling for an idea of what to write and what to say to all my loyal fan friends on here. My first reaction was to berate myself for not being more organized but then I stopped, took a breath and regrouped. What good would putting myself down accomplish? What would my niece say if she was sitting here listening to me put myself down?
I created this piece in 2011, I sketched it on the app ‘MyBrushes’ and its a favorite of mine. My niece is sitting on my lap in awe of me opening my presents. It was a picture my husband took that I was compelled to draw one night during my early twenties when insomnia would strike. It also is a sketch which puts things in prospect for me.
When I think of all the adults that told me through the years how quickly the years go by I lost count but it’s true. Now that my niece is on the verge of turning nine she’s old enough to pick up on how people view themselves. I know my niece thinks I’m the best Aunt in the world (she tells me so every time she sees me) and what kind of message am I sending her every time I put myself down and give in to the hard fought battle (one which I am now winning) in self esteem? Not the best one.
My niece doesn’t care what color my hair is, whether or not I’m wearing designer clothes, what I car drive, what my job is, or how much I weigh. She doesn’t care that as I write this I’m secretly hoping it’s good enough, that people like and want to hear what I have to say. She doesn’t see the anxiety and little flaws in my appearance and personality I try to “fix”. She sees a fun, carefree and beautiful Aunt who to likes to bake treats for her and make slime with her. Who helps her draw things and encourages her to do her very best in whatever she’s doing. She see’s the best of me, the version of me it took me almost 30 years to see and appreciate. When I started loving myself both on the outside and the inside I was able to see myself in a totally different light.
If we saw ourselves in the eyes of our children, our godchildren, our nieces and nephews, our family and friends instead of in the numbers on a scale or a two dimensional reflection in a mirror we’d lead much more fulfilling lives.
That’s the purpose of the this piece, to remind us that for all our shortcomings and things in life that go unplanned there’s always someone who’s looking up to you. For every time you look in the mirror and call yourself fat there are impressionable eyes and ears that are watching and listening to you and learning how to love (or not love) themselves.
Remember to love yourself, be kind to yourself, and focus on what you have to offer the world rather than what you lack. Learn to love yourself in the way those who look up to and admire you do. Don’t sweat the little things in life that can be changed, because these years go very quickly and we owe it to ourselves to make them the happiest we can. As I end this post I feel confident that this topic, this art piece which I’m sharing was meant to be shared tonight and low carb pina colada recipes can surely wait till next week.
Love you. Mean it.